It's Enough To Make You Pee In Your Pants

Son number young(est) arrived home unexpectedly early at around 4 am having been thrown out of the club he frequents with his mates. I wasn't convinced by his claim that he hadn't done anything to provoke this but was too tired to prod further at this point.  Having previously experienced an unpleasant contretemps with the local bouncers myself, I was inclined to err on the side of my son for now.

It's a big deal for these kids to be able to to go to this club when they turn sixteen.  A rite of passage of sorts.  Sadly, the only kind that's on offer around here. Until they reach the giddy heights of eighteen, they have to present a pre-printed form signed by a parent and any eighteen year old they can persuade to add a second signature assuring that they take responsibility for the duration of the night - in theory. But it is generally accepted.  These clubs want to get their money, after all, and why pass up such a great opportunity to steal candy from "babes"?  Blind-eyes turned in all directions.

Finally my son told me what had happened in a surprised, "Oh, I thought I'd told you",  kind of way - shrugged shoulders akimbo. It transpired that he had spilt beer on his jeans and was on his way to repair the damage with some cold water.  Before he even got to the door of the restrooms he was grabbed by a couple of bouncers and thrown out ... for peeing in his pants??!!!!

I can confirm that if he reeked of Eau-de-anything on his return home, it was definitely beer and not pee. I was all for returning to the scene of the crime and presenting the beer-flavoured jeans as evidence, but my seemingly incontinent teen didn't want to risk causing offence (???) as well as permanent exclusion from this Bacchanalian (Beeranalian?) haven.

I am considering typing an addendum to the standard form: "I, the undersigned, hereby declare that my 16-year-old son/daughter is fully toilet-trained". 

The scene was indeed revisited by my son and his friend, but for another reason.  To search for his mobile phone which he lost while crouching in the bushes nearby ... to take a leak!