Since when did the past participle of "to die" morph into a dirty word? Nobody refers to someone as having "died" any more. No, they "pass on", or simply “pass”. Where to? In what condition? Have they actually expired, or have they just gone on a long hike? It is not as if the prospect and ultimate event of death is anything new; yet people tippy-toe around it as they might a mugging on the street.
Where does linguistic political correctness begin and end? Words such as "Bitch, Ho, Bum, Asshole", to name but a few, bombard us daily but when buckets are kicked, clogs popped and mortal coils shuffled, throats are nervously cleared, glances turn shifty and a universal conspiracy of allusions and awkwardness permeates the atmosphere.
There was a time when people passed "over", but this preposition has, in turn, been superseded. What did "to pass over" mean? Did this refer to the indubitable fact that those who had "passed" were over the hill to the point of no return? Has it become politically incorrect to infer that a person be fatally elevated above and beyond the peak of their earthly existence?
Why is it considered preferable to pass “on”, rather than “over”? In our materialistic world passing “on” fits better to the Zeitgeist of self-improvement and achievement, the goal being to move on to better things. Passing “over”, indicates an unearthly dimension. Spirituality is just about socially acceptable, within its fashionable limits, but there is so much on offer, from the sublime to the ridiculous, that it is still mainly regarded with suspicion as the property of New Age Whackos.
Will this “Urban Dictionary” type vocabulary-pimping stop at death? How about birth? Will babies be born in the future, or will they just materialize? Will women become pregnant, or will they simply gain a few pounds during the course of nine months?
"I have some good news, but I waited till I'd gained a few pounds before revealing my happy secret. I'm going to gain more weight before the next 6 months are up! “
"Wonderful news! You mean your earthly temple will compulsively and uncontrollably expel a red and wrinkled screaming entity at a future date?”
"No, no. My progeneration consultant has advised me to have a Cleopatrean”. (Caesarians will have been abolished for being sexist by association with their male namesake).
Then, the birth announcement: "Joe and Mary are proud to announce that little Jehoshaphat has successfully been expelled from his female parent's nether regions, weighing in at x pounds, xx ounces". (The exact weight will not be revealed for fear of offending the fashion industry who will most definitely turn in their future earthy plots in horror at the very idea of those extra ounces).
Arrest your ongoing motion for a few microscopic particles of an aeon! I am jumping the proverbial instrument for speedy emission of circumferentially-challenged metal orbs here. Let us rewind to the centrifugal episodes between compulsory expulsion into, dare I be succinct here? - Life, and the aforementioned inevitable outcome.
How will engagement and subsequent marriage be described? Future headlines might read: “Prince X of Whyland has set in motion the means whereby the tying of the knot to his Intended will be finalized on a mutually accorded date, at a well-known establishment of regal matrimonial forgery”.
Once the knot has been forged, headlines may well exclaim: “REGAL NUPTIAL NOOSE IRRETRIEVABLY TIGHTENED – TILL LIFE DOTH DEPART!” Sighs of relief all round. Until, perhaps one of the participants finds themselves compelled, as has been the wont of previous high-bred elitist entities, to pass the other one “over” in favor of a newer and more diverting model and pass “on” to fresh pastures. At least these days they get to keep their heads.
